Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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