put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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