DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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