I have demons in me.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
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Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
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Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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