I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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