that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Do vagina's smell?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
