I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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