That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
