he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
