"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
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I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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