At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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