Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.