Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

I just want to hang out with her.

(916): View more from California

You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.

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(972): View more from Texas

Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(704): View more from North Carolina

Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be

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(937): View more from Ohio

I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag

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(289): View more from Ontario

my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.

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(602): View more from Arizona

How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.

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