Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?