Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach http://tfl.nu/ylv0
  Replies (20) Good night (1832) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito. http://tfl.nu/9mvh
  Replies (15) Good night (4620) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records. http://tfl.nu/dlha
  Replies (41) Good night (9090) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever. http://tfl.nu/blg1
  Replies (4) Good night (3940) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on. http://tfl.nu/o94m
  Replies (15) Good night (4627) Bad night (1374)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot. http://tfl.nu/4t9j
  Replies (2) Good night (2072) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns. http://tfl.nu/2g8z
  Replies (4) Good night (1493) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers. http://tfl.nu/y8q2
  Replies (9) Good night (2114) Bad night (1586)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home http://tfl.nu/5cvq
  Replies (5) Good night (649) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me. http://tfl.nu/bode
  Replies (2) Good night (390) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around... http://tfl.nu/dav9
  Replies (0) Good night (715) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/encj
  Replies (6) Good night (890) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her. http://tfl.nu/o5ak
  Replies (6) Good night (700) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class. http://tfl.nu/xrt7
  Replies (6) Good night (940) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night. http://tfl.nu/dalv
  Replies (0) Good night (537) Bad night (287)

Randomize