Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there