Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
