O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
