1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Couch. On fire.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
