it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Randomize
