Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
