went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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