remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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