drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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