she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
