I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
