Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I want a musical about memes.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
