Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
