if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
