um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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