he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize