I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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