can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
