Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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