If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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