Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
