Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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