two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
