I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize