i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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