you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
