The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
