how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
