I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??