i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
