I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...