I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
