I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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