my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..