Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Another day, another engagement, another cat
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.