He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
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I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
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Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.