Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?