Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
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Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
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hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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