I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
