I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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