How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
