You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
