no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
