I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
