The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
