32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
