wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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