He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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