Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
