ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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