just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
only if we run a train.
done.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
