Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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