sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
