Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
