I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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