i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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