I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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