He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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