he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
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The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
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I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize