Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
