Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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